A few days ago, I responded to two blog challenges with the post Fishing and Ironing; if you haven’t read it, please do so. The final part of the Take a Photo challenge was to ask our students to write something based on the photo used, in this case, the fisherman.
I told this class of two students (level A2) to write something, anything they wanted, for example, a story or a poem, based on what they see and feel.
And here is where I have decided to throw the challenge back! I have here two short essays. The challenge is: how would you correct them? What would you say to these students?
Ginge woke up that morning with the same sense of pain that 8 years ago, although she never remembered the dreams she knew that night had become the ghost that haunted her for years. Although the sun still not hot, on that summer morning sensed a bright day. On the other hammock in the back of the hut still stirred the little bundle of An and understood that he would soon be claiming their first meal of the day.
Under the floorboards of the house, was that green canvas bag that the soldier left her, a gift, he said, inside was this strange metal object, very smooth and cold on one side with a handle on the other, never knew that was useful, it might be a weapon that she kept away from An, sometimes amused watching when no one could see, not even the child. She thought it was time to forget and that bag it brought back bad and unpleasant memories.
When An woke up they set off, picked up the fishing rod and went to the river gently slid a few hundred meters from the village. Where the river made a bend thought it was deep enough and there gently dropped the canvas bag that sank with a brief splash. She was convinced that the bad dreams would sink after that strange object.
After she prepared the fishing rod while An was looking at with those strange eyes the color of the sky in summer, a color that she never had seen in the village.
LUNCH FOR TODAY
This morning I got up early, when the sun woke up too. It’s maravellous. Today will be a good day.
My family is sleeping, town’s people is sleeping too. All it´s quiet, I only can listen some outdated birds. I prepare the necessary’s things for to go to fish, I take my bicycle and I get in the way. I discover a perfect place, a smooth stone to a few meters from the lake´s shore. It will allow me approach where are the fishes. If I have luck I get to my home for lunch. If it happens I´ll will see the happiness on my wife´s and my children´s faces. If it happens today´s will eat some fish.
Your participation will be most appreciated!